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I just saw Episode III with Ethan and Eric. It was the funniest Star Wars ever.

In the scene where Anakin is standing on the balcony, telling Padme that he's got to go end the war, to go off alone? Total rip off of every character Kevin Costner has ever played, especially The Postman and Robin Hood. He was even wearing a costume that would fit in in Robin Hood. And he didn't have an English accent the same way Kevin Costner doesn't, and he had the blonde hair and he was the swarthy but sensitive guy who has to end up saving the day because he's the fucking hero, hello! of the movie. Maybe it was a tribute to mediocrity.

Ethan and Eric says the city background plus Padme's outfits were totally stolen from Metropolis.

The scene where Darth Vader hears about Padme's death and breaks loose from the medical restraints? Frankenstein. Then he bellows from the pain of the news. Streetcar Named Desire. The three of us just busted up. The kids in front of us didn't get the joke and gave us dirty looks.

Senator Palpatine? George W. Bush. And Hitler, too. The guys operating the cruiser approaching the Death Star at the end? They look suspiciously like German SS officers. So many allusions to cold war politics.

The acting was so bad. The costumes were so what you'd expect. The city scenes and ship design were great. They still haven't mastered gravityless physics. Also, the air in a room which is half gone doesn't rush out in a gale, it just pops out. The plot hole that C3PO knew R2D2 before Episode IV was solved in the most stupid way possible. They did however remember that Tatooine has two suns, and the double sunrise was spiffy. The wookies were ugly ewoks, and they didn't get shot at the same way the Ewoks didn't. General Grievous made no sense at all. What the fuck was he supposed to be?

If I gave out asses for films, this would be the must-see four-ass special. So bad it's good. I loved it, and I would never in a moment call it fine storytelling. But damn was it worth $7.50 to see in the theatre. This was no mediocre “What a waste of time”, this was the full on special-effects-as-starring role bad movie.. It was better than Cats (sorry Zin), and I could probably watch it again and again. (sorry Cyle)

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Jul. 3rd, 2005 10:29 pm (UTC)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I HAAATE YOOOOU

Honestly, don't listen to her. She speaks LIES. LIES!!! THIS IS WHY WOMEN SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO SEE MOVIES!!! GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN.

Love,
Natalie

^.^
aredridel
Jul. 3rd, 2005 10:31 pm (UTC)
Re: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Natalie, I told you not to look.

You looked, didn't you.

See? I told you not to look.
(Anonymous)
Jul. 3rd, 2005 10:33 pm (UTC)
Re: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I have to say:

BEST

STAR WARS

EVER

.........No this is not Natalie.

.....................................................
vruba
Jul. 3rd, 2005 10:29 pm (UTC)
It's the gravityful physics that bothers me, actually. The CGI characters move too lightly; they rest on the ground but they don’t interact with it. No elasticity; no proper visual evidence of weight.
aredridel
Jul. 3rd, 2005 10:30 pm (UTC)
Totally! Though that's at least vaguely forgivable since Teh Force, y'know, let's 'em almost fly.
vruba
Jul. 3rd, 2005 10:33 pm (UTC)
But, but there’s no “Crouching Tiger” deliberateness. It looks like lousy kinematics, not wonderful lightness.
vruba
Jul. 3rd, 2005 10:41 pm (UTC)
Now, that said, I don’t think it stank so bad (given that it’s supposed to be angsty and derivative space opera).
aredridel
Jul. 3rd, 2005 10:45 pm (UTC)
Oh, it was great! Must-see in its badness. It was bad in a totally watchable way.
aredridel
Jul. 3rd, 2005 10:44 pm (UTC)
Yeah...
zinniazayda
Jul. 3rd, 2005 11:50 pm (UTC)
It was definitely worth seeing in the theater, yeah. In my opinion, though, Troy was a better bad movie. Maybe it's a Classics geek thing.

And I've come to realize (thank God) that Andrew Lloyd Weber musicals belong in the same sort of context. I think Jesus Christ Superstar might even beat Cats for so-bad-it's-good.
aredridel
Jul. 4th, 2005 07:08 am (UTC)
Yes! ... Actually, Andrew Lloyd Weber is exactly the same sort of high-production-cost so-bad-it's-good.

I'll have to see Troy, then.
raliyn
Jul. 4th, 2005 12:42 am (UTC)
All of you need to go see batman (if you havent already.)

Go see it now.

now!

stop reading this and go see batman
aredridel
Jul. 4th, 2005 07:08 am (UTC)
Okay! Okay! I will when the theater has it!
branwen
Jul. 4th, 2005 04:03 pm (UTC)
Hehe! I agree with all of that, except for the parts that involve movies I've never seen. I sure had fun watching Episode III! It good, in that way that the bad parts weren't "ew, ouch" bad, but more "heehee, haha!" bad. Maybe that's 'cause I was sitting next to Jeff, and we made clever comments to each other throughout the film...
laughingwind
Jul. 5th, 2005 01:41 pm (UTC)
Dude, the WWII German thing was an attempt at continuity with the original three.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )