Aria Stewart ([info]aredridel) wrote,
@ 2008-04-25 18:27:00
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Personal demographics

I had a thought while I was working on replying to a thread on [info]whetherwoman's journal.

What are the things that you think most define how you interact with the world? As an example, “I'm a woman” is particularly relevant in that discussion. What informs your reactions to the world?

I have a list that feels as long as my arm in my head.

I live in a small town, and I actively try to keep the good parts about small town culture alive wherever I go. I'm acutely aware of the amount of interconnection between people in any group, and I'm happiest when I can either be in an internally well-connected group, or one where I'm introducing people to each other.

I am a comfortable, confident, happy transsexual woman, who feels no need to play a game of “passing” as a XX-chromosomed woman. It affects nearly every interaction I've had in the past years. It's made my sex life, my love life and my body something that seems very public, and that people are quite willing to start a conversation on.

Within the queer, and especially within groups of transgendered folks, I find that my tendency to be calm, a peace-maker, and my willingness to be out without confrontation is distinguishing.

I'm a spiritual person, and I have a deep respect and interest to understand religious and spiritual traditions. In my teenage years, I'd taken my family's habitual bashings of all things Christian, and it left a hole in my willingness to understand people, to feel and to relate. Now I'm finding that I have more in common in my thought processes and feelings about things with the average religious person who really thinks about their faith than I do with the atheist liberal culture I grew up in. My own beliefs align relatively well with a lot of Quaker beliefs, and a lot of the traditions speak to me deeply.

I'm white, of a lower-middle class family. My parents have no college degrees, though they're very smart and well-educated.

I have cultural associations to Argentina, latin in culture and racially white.

I grew up in a family where taking care of things oneself was the normal way to do things. My father can fix most anything around the house. We never called a plumber, handyman or repairman for anything. We educated ourselves, we designed our house ourselves, we built our house ourselves. I've watched my father repair cars, roofs, sidewalks, computers, desks, faucets. My mother made a lot of our clothes when I was young. Asking for someone to do something for me is not something I think of first.



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[info]healthnut22
2008-04-26 05:25 am UTC (link)
Probably actually "I am a homeschooler" (when I was younger), or maybe "I was a homeschooler" (though this is fading fast, and that's a really weird feeling; I think college had a lot to do with that...you would think it would matter accutely there, but it's like it just sort of fades, because people come from all sorts of states and countries and have different educational backgrounds and no one is really talking about how you grew up, but more about what the latest assignment on Wednesday is and whether they were stupid to not remember it or not), or, "I am a Christian." I generally define myself by hippism in many manifestations, by family association, or by faith/tradition/part of the country. Perhaps I'm really not answering at all here. Maybe I'm being too open-ended. But my definintions are...dang, how can I explain it. OK, I've got it: the ones I'm most proud of are the ones I chose.

I like being a Midwesterner, a person of my particular faith, a grown homeschooler, etc. etc. I find the most fear in the things I did not choose. They can have the capacity at times to panic me. I feel more in control about where I chose to live, with whom I live, how I live, etc. I believe in feminism, but I don't always identify as strongly with a movement that I'm naturally part of by what I am than what I chose. Already said that, and I'm rambling. 'Night. -R.

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[info]dagbrown
2008-04-26 06:02 am UTC (link)
These days, "I am an immigrant" informs my reactions to the world around me more than anything else, really.

"I am a man" also comes into it quite a lot, though.

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[info]daeriel
2008-04-26 06:46 am UTC (link)
"I am/have always been depressed" comes to mind as the main one. It has a big effect on how I view myself, as well as how I view the world, so it's in every interaction. It's why I walk with my head down, why I generally assume no one's interested in what I have to say, etc.

I read a bit of the comments on the post you referenced. I think being a woman affects my interactions differently from the original poster there. While I feel objectified to some extent, I feel more like I'm terribly unattractive as a result instead of an object that men want to touch. In that way maybe being depressed affects me more than being a woman. I've always felt that my body is *mine* and I have control over it. I'm only starting to believe that other people can be attracted to me (in a statistically significant portion at least :P), to be honest.

My depression has been getting better, and with that comes some interesting changes in daily life. I'm more likely to say hello to people, more likely to start conversations, more likely to add to discussions in class, and more likely to interpret things said to me in a positive light.

Yay rambles. I hope that at least made a *little* sense.

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[info]aredridel
2008-04-26 07:04 am UTC (link)
That so very much did. It's interesting to see what different attributes people ascribe their worldview to.

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[info]wwitchbaby
2008-04-26 08:38 am UTC (link)
Hmm. Yeah, that thread (along with other conversations I've been having lately) made me think too.

My identify as a girl is one of the first things that I think of. Being queer comes close. Both of which I experience as an extra awareness, of subconsciously knowing how many people are in each room that I step into and what the quickest way out is. Taking an extra second before I say "my girlfriend".
Within the last few months, I've realized just how much other parts of my identity contribute to my reactions in ways I hadn't noticed before.
Being 3rd generation Mexican American.
Having been depressed for most of my adolescence.
Growing up in a financially unstable home, with parents who traveled and gave me dance classes yet didn't have health insurance until last year. Knowing that the only reason our family stayed in our house this year was because my mother went on government assistance has also lead me to realize that one of the reasons that I was able to handle AP classes this year, to gain that elitist experience, was because I didn't have to live through the stress and unrest of having to move. And then, I sit in the classes full of teens, who are not even cognizant of the privileges they assume everyone has, as they talk about government spending and "drains on the programs".

This is mostly rambling by now, but yes. Very interesting topic.

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[info]dagbrown
2008-04-26 02:55 pm UTC (link)
You identify as a girl, or as a woman?

This is a more major distinction than you might expect.

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[info]aredridel
2008-04-26 03:50 pm UTC (link)
So very true. I even struggled in the edits to my original post whether to say 'girl' or 'woman'. It's only in the last months that the idea of thinking of myself as a woman has set in solidly at all.

It's strange to have a word that acknowledges any kind of maturity that way, and it's strange that we get to use it in contexts of our own identities.

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[info]dagbrown
2008-04-26 03:56 pm UTC (link)
You could, I suppose, dodge the question by saying that you identify yourself as "female", which skirts the maturity issue entirely.

For what little it's worth, I give you my (dubious, granted) accolade as a woman rather than a girl, but mainly because I acknowledge your adulthood in general rather than any specific gender-related thing.

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[info]aredridel
2008-04-26 06:47 pm UTC (link)
Thank you.

And it's strange that there is such a distinction in our culture.

What comes to mind for you as the difference?

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[info]dagbrown
2008-04-26 11:36 pm UTC (link)
It's hard to put my finger on, but it's related to that quality, "lack of drama", and to your level of self-sufficiency, I guess.

As long as there is a distinction between children and adults, there will be a distinction between girls and women, though, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Childhood is the right time to be a child, and after you're done being a child, you have to be an adult.

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[info]wwitchbaby
2008-04-26 11:54 pm UTC (link)
Currently, I identify as a girl.
I chose girl deliberately because in a lot of ways, I don't feel like I've passed into being a woman. At eighteen, I qualify in most quantifiable ways, but I think it's going to take me a year or two before I am comfortable referring to myself as such (or at least, until it starts coming more naturally to my tongue.)

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[info]aredridel
2008-04-29 04:55 pm UTC (link)
That makes a lot of sense, and it makes sense in the cultural bit I'm trying to figure out: There's a huge tendency for women to never become independent. A huge number of my friends flit from school and family to college to husband and never really live on their own. It's something more uniquely female, I think.

So many never really become women, and some it takes having kids to make them fight for the independence. (Having kids is such a kick in the ass. It's great to see some people who were complete flakes step up to the plate when they have a kid.)

Maybe that's why "boy" lasts until maybe 18 or 20, but "girl" seems to last until grey hair sets in.

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[info]aredridel
2008-04-26 03:48 pm UTC (link)
Absolutely! Thanks!

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[info]jkndrkn
2008-04-26 11:53 pm UTC (link)
1)

"I am an introvert"
"I love to think, learn, and create"
"I find myself wishing that I possessed more empathy"

2)

> In my teenage years, I'd taken my family's habitual bashings of all things Christian, and it left a hole in my willingness to understand people, to feel and to relate.

Strong rejectionism leaves one blind, unbalanced, and unable to relate to others.

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[info]aredridel
2008-04-29 04:55 pm UTC (link)
It so does. That task, my methodical working on relating to people with a strong Christian mindset, has helped me relate so very much.

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[info]jwitchbaby
2008-04-27 04:58 am UTC (link)
dyke first and foremost
chronic physical/mental health problems
being single (especially at my age)
being a woman/genderqueer
also being "smart" and a lifelong learner
and that whole DIY insistently independent thing

all affect how i interact with the world

xo max

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[info]jwitchbaby
2008-04-27 05:00 am UTC (link)
Also, because I have been grading too many papers, I feel compelled to tell you that "I have a list that feels as long as my arm in my head" is a silly sentence, because you do not have an arm in your head (I hope), and perhaps that last clause would like to be moved to say that you have a list in your head.

Uh, so probably that whole writer thing influences my interactions too, ya think?

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[info]aredridel
2008-04-29 04:56 pm UTC (link)
Yes. Quite!

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[info]nightlarke
2008-04-30 08:03 pm UTC (link)
That is inspiring. You're an amazing person.

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[info]aredridel
2008-05-01 05:49 pm UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]deeply_confused
2008-05-05 01:50 am UTC (link)
Is "I am me" an easy way out of it? *laugh*

I promise when I don't have to write a damned paper on Indian food in the UK I will write something substantial!

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[info]aredridel
2008-05-05 06:28 am UTC (link)
Won't get you out of it!

But it's understandable. *hugs*

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[info]deeply_confused
2008-05-06 12:07 am UTC (link)
Rats! Well, when I figure it all out, I'll tell ya. :)

*hug*

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